Out Where?

I’m 36 and single.

For about four years, I stopped dating and turned my focus on me. I worked on becoming a better, happier, healthier version of myself. Last year, I decided that it was time to start dating again. I attempted online dating. I went on a few dates but they were not great; mostly just guys who were not really interested in dating but rather just looking hooking up with me which is not really what I am looking for. There was one guy who I did like, but I soon realized he actually faked most of his profile. I eventually removed my profile since I really wasn’t getting any suitable prospects and felt that my energy could be used on more fruitful projects.

So here I am ready to date, but what do I do?

People tell me to “put myself out there” but what does that really mean? That is probably the WORST thing you can tell a single person. If you have any single friends, on behalf of all of us, please refrain from telling / asking if we are “out there”. What the hell does that even mean? Out where? Is there a secret place where all the singles are congregating to meet potential suitors. Can you give me the address?

Last week, I was out and about three different nights of the week. I had dinner at the Inn at Pound Ridge with a blogging friend on Tuesday (subscribe to her blog so you don’t miss the recap), I went to the opera (alone) on Wednesday, and went to dinner at the Russian Tea Room with Irish Kat (which you will read about this week). Yes, when I went out, my focus wasn’t necessarily to meet men, but to spend time with my friends. However, what is the best way to meet men? Sit at a bar? Hope that the guy sitting next to you is a) single, and b) not an alcoholic.

I do not expect anyone to show up at my door confirming my awesomeness, a la Andrew Lincoln in Love Actually

I’m not sitting on my couch, watching Big Bang Theory, waiting for my Prince Charming knock on my door looking for a date for the ball. I talk to everyone I meet. I try to be friendly and inviting towards everyone (men and women, cause you never know who knows someone with potential). I playfully ask people if they know any nice men to introduce me to. It not like I’m not trying. I get the “why don’t you go on line” and honestly, I can’t believe that the online dating is the ONLY way to meet people. It’s not like you just go on Amazon and order a boyfriend.

Reflecting on my successfully married friends, I think about how they met. The new parents, Doc & Moneyman, met in the cafeteria of their college. Brooklyn and The German met when buying a pack of gum. The Wizard and his muggle (yet magnificent) wife, met playing volleyball at the NJ shore. I’m not knocking the internet. I do have friends who met on line and are now living their happily ever afters. Team Garrett, one of my favorite couples in the world, is a match made on the internet. Brooklyn’s sister met her lovely husband online and they now have a beautiful family with two amazing little boys. I know there is validity to online dating, but I don’t think it is the medium I am best suited for.

If anyone has any ideas, or the location of “Out There”, please send them my way.