I’m 36 and single.
For about four years, I stopped dating and turned my focus on me. I worked on becoming a better, happier, healthier version of myself. Last year, I decided that it was time to start dating again. I attempted online dating. I went on a few dates but they were not great; mostly just guys who were not really interested in dating but rather just looking hooking up with me which is not really what I am looking for. There was one guy who I did like, but I soon realized he actually faked most of his profile. I eventually removed my profile since I really wasn’t getting any suitable prospects and felt that my energy could be used on more fruitful projects.
So here I am ready to date, but what do I do?
People tell me to “put myself out there” but what does that really mean? That is probably the WORST thing you can tell a single person. If you have any single friends, on behalf of all of us, please refrain from telling / asking if we are “out there”. What the hell does that even mean? Out where? Is there a secret place where all the singles are congregating to meet potential suitors. Can you give me the address?
Last week, I was out and about three different nights of the week. I had dinner at the Inn at Pound Ridge with a blogging friend on Tuesday (subscribe to her blog so you don’t miss the recap), I went to the opera (alone) on Wednesday, and went to dinner at the Russian Tea Room with Irish Kat (which you will read about this week). Yes, when I went out, my focus wasn’t necessarily to meet men, but to spend time with my friends. However, what is the best way to meet men? Sit at a bar? Hope that the guy sitting next to you is a) single, and b) not an alcoholic.
I’m not sitting on my couch, watching Big Bang Theory, waiting for my Prince Charming knock on my door looking for a date for the ball. I talk to everyone I meet. I try to be friendly and inviting towards everyone (men and women, cause you never know who knows someone with potential). I playfully ask people if they know any nice men to introduce me to. It not like I’m not trying. I get the “why don’t you go on line” and honestly, I can’t believe that the online dating is the ONLY way to meet people. It’s not like you just go on Amazon and order a boyfriend.
Reflecting on my successfully married friends, I think about how they met. The new parents, Doc & Moneyman, met in the cafeteria of their college. Brooklyn and The German met when buying a pack of gum. The Wizard and his muggle (yet magnificent) wife, met playing volleyball at the NJ shore. I’m not knocking the internet. I do have friends who met on line and are now living their happily ever afters. Team Garrett, one of my favorite couples in the world, is a match made on the internet. Brooklyn’s sister met her lovely husband online and they now have a beautiful family with two amazing little boys. I know there is validity to online dating, but I don’t think it is the medium I am best suited for.
If anyone has any ideas, or the location of “Out There”, please send them my way.