I found out some news the other day, and I felt rather smug about it.
I really shouldn’t. It is none of my business really. However, I just couldn’t help myself.
Somebody I use to know is getting a divorce. I don’t know the details or the motivation behind the separation (like I said, it is someone who I use to know), I only know that it is happening.
It is sad to see a marriage end, especially when there is a child involved, but some times things are better off when they end rather than dragging them out. I know my parents became much happier people after their divorce, and my sister and I were much better off because of their choice.
But why am I so smug?
The person getting divorced could never be alone. If she wasn’t in a relationship, she was with a friend 24-7. She was so desperate not to be alone, she rushed in to things because her intended met a height requirement. They moved in together with in three months of meeting and in those three months, any single friends she had were immediately dropped to only hang out with couples. Anything that happened in the past was forgotten or asked to be taken off social media, untagged, and hidden away. Life did not exist before him.
When the engagement came, he designed her a lovely ring, which she “had sized and adjusted” which was her way of creating a whole new, larger ring without notice (although it was hard NOT to notice). Friendships rekindled to pump up the guest list for her side of the wedding aisle. After attending the wedding, I was put back on the do not call list again. Attempts to meet up, or even get an updated mailing address for a Christmas card went unanswered.
Through the wonders of social media the occasional post would be seen. Starting with the first anniversary, the “we’re pregnant” announcement, the awkward looking baby photos (ALMOST all babies are cute, this one was not and continues to be an ugly duckling). Right after the baby came, I actually ran in to her and him; they were sitting in the waiting room of my therapist’s office. I was coming out and they were going in with their infant. She was like a deer in headlights to see me. I saw a chip in the facade she was trying to keep of a perfect family life. The family photos on vacations and holidays kept coming; you know how life goes year after year. Soon I saw they relocated to another state, perhaps they were getting a fresh start. I hoped they were. Then things slowed down. Not so many photos, and the few that existed seemed to be missing a main element; HIM.
Like I said, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know who became disenfranchised with the relationship. I don’t know if there was adultery, abuse, or just irreconcilable differences. Again, it is sad that it didn’t work. However, I can’t help but shake my head and smirk. We all saw it coming. She abandoned her friendships and all life not centered around him. Now there is just her and this child. I know she will land on her feet. She did very well for herself professionally, and her parents were always incredibly engrained in her life and would never let her falter. I’m sure she will be fine in that respect. Hopefully she will keep a positive relationship with Him, for the sake of their child.
And as for me, I won’t say I told you so, but we all saw it coming. Focusing on my own place in the universe I can easily say, I know who I am and I’m awesome. I can take care of myself with out assistance from anyone (OK, my stepdad takes my car to be inspected but I could do it on my own if I needed!) I don’t need a significant other to make me feel complete. I am complete.
I’d love to share my life with someone worthy. One day soon, I will meet a man who recognizes how awesome I am, and is awesome in his own right. However, I do not plan on abandoning the relationships I have developed over the years to gain his love and affections, nor would I expect that behavior from him. There is plenty of Souzapalooza to go around, don’t worry. I have an amazing set of friends and family who, I believe, will rejoice with me when I meet some one worthy of my awesomeness.
For me, the future’s so bright, I’ve gotta wear shades
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