Recently, DJ Cool and I got in to a discussion on my dating life, or rather lack of dating life. Yes I know what you are thinking, Souzapalooza how could YOU possibly be single, but alas I am, let’s move on. Anyway, DJ Cool, who detests many things I enjoy such as running, Yankee baseball and Bret Michaels, decided to give me his criteria for who I should be dating.
The requirements for the future Mr Souzapalooza (per DJ Cool)
- Facial Hair – DJ Cool thinks I should date a guy with a beard. Beards aren’t really my thing, so I’m gonna meet him half way on this point. I’ll take two-day stubble or perhaps a goatee; I can’t handle a full beard.
- Someone who likes running / working out – We both agreed on this, my caveat was that he wasn’t super competitive or tried to push his workout beliefs on to me (I hate guys like that, especially when I have family and friends who are personal trainers)
- Someone incredibly smart, ideally a professor – I agree with this one too, surprisingly. Why surprisingly? DJ Cool is one of the more intelligent people I know, and on occasion, I have felt a bit insecure when I have absolutely no #$%^&* idea what he is talking about. At the same time, I think I am becoming smarter by knowing him. For example, I have a list of vocabulary words from our daily banter that I keep on a post it (Don’t judge me, do any of you know the definitions of turophile or portmanteau and can use it properly on the fly? He can, it is kinda captivating) My wit and useless knowledge of movie lines would be better appreciated by a professor, just as long as he doesn’t spend most of his time building radios out of coconuts.
- Someone who wears a blazer with elbow patches – I’m not sure what DJ Cools fetish with the elbow patches is, but he thinks it should be a consideration (this coming from a man who I ritualistically tease about his own progressive hipster fashion choices and Converse version of PF Flyers). I don’t think this is going to make or break the deal, but in trying to be open-minded in my quest I’ll going to keep it in mind. He really wanted to add in that my future man also smoke a pipe, but since I’m anti-smoking I vetoed the pipe.
I’ve had some time to think about DJ Cool’s requirement and I realized, I know a man who fits all these requirements!
He is an archeology professor. He has traveled the world including, but not limited to, Germany, India, Cairo, England, Venice, and Alexandretta. He can ride a horse, fly (but not land) a plane, and is pretty handy with a bull whip. He is very smart, very athletic, and always chooses wisely. Here is a picture of my future husband, Dr. Henry Walton Jones, Jr…. but I just call him Indy.
Maybe the quest for the Holy Grail is easier….
- I’m Not Josie Grossie! (thesouzapaloozablog.com)
- Dr Henry Walton Jones, Jr to Guest Lecture at UMaine on The Importance of Child Labor Laws (The Return of the Modern Philosopher)