Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. It is one of my favorite holidays because I consider it the unofficial kick off to summer. Most people think that it is Mexican Independence Day, but it is actually a day that commemorates the Battle of Puebla where Mexico beat the French. The funny thing is, Cinco de Mayo doesn’t get a lot of fanfare in Mexico, but it is very popular in the United States.
Usually, I celebrate Cinco de Mayo with the customary Margarita. If you don’t know, margaritas are a lovely blend of triple sec, lime juice, sour mix and TEQUILA. I have been to many different places to celebrate Cinco de Mayo and have sampled many different margaritas. There have been some good ones and some not so good ones but there is one constant thing that I can report:
Tequila is a backstabbing whore!
Actually, I think tequila is great. I love margaritas, tequila sunrises, and of course tequila shots. The problem I have with tequila is that it always turns on me. I always start off enjoying my cocktails, but there comes a point where tequila will stab me in the back. It will encourage me to make bad decisions, do stupid things, or will convert me to the Cult of the Porcelain God. I have had ideas of grandeur, texted people my random thoughts at ungodly hours, “procured” lawn animals and of course, proclaimed my love for EVERYONE while bewitched by tequila.
I am not a huge fan of country music, but country singers seem to have the best comprehension of tequila’s effects. Many of their songs have documented the ways tequila can not be trusted. Joe Nichols has sung about how tequila made her clothes fall off. Tracy Byrd has gone ten rounds with Jose Cuervo but lost count and had to start again. Shelly West thinks Jose Cuervo is her friend (but I know that Jose is a lying bastard!). Of course, we all know that Jimmy Buffett has been wasting away in Margaritaville for years! But Brooks & Dunn are the ones who really understand how I feel….”Goes down easy, sneaks up on you fast!”
People say, when life hands you lemons, grab the tequila and salt; trust your good friend Souzapalooza – Don’t Do This!
- How to Drink Tequila… on Cinco de Mayo (esquire.com)