Sue Sylvester’s League of Doom

Jane Lynch & Matthew Morrison

I’m so happy that there was a new episode of Glee on this week, and that it started with Sue’s newest anti-glee club plot, The League of Doom! If you haven’t had a chance to see the episode, or just want to watch Sue in rare form, check out this clip of the intro to Glee’s “A Night of Neglect” (broadcasted 4/19/2011) This may be one of Sue’s best rants this season.

I think Jane Lynch is fabulous in everything she does (like as Paula in 40 Year Old Virgin), but she really knocks it out of the park as Sue Sylvester. Her constant insults of Will Schuester, his hair, and his Glee club, are some of the show’s best moments. “As Madonna once said, I’m tough, I’m ambitious and if that makes me a bitch, that’s what I am. Pretty sure she stole that line from Sue Sylvester.”(quoted from the Power of Madonna episode of Glee)

Here are my top 10 favorite quotes from Sue Sylvester:

  1. I empower my Cheerios to be champions. Do they go onto college? I don’t know, I don’t care. Should they learn Spanish? Sure, if they wanna become dishwashers and gardeners. But if they want to be bankers and lawyers and captains of industry, the most important lesson they could possibly learn is how to do a round off.
  2. I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.
  3. When I showed this [broccoli] to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy bears lived.
  4. I’m reasonably confident that you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you’re no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian. Love you like a sistah
  5. I’m having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a brier patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou!
  6. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio Secretary of State notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo I.D. You know why? People should know who I am.
  7. Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Shuester; you are about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: HORROR!
  8. I’m gonna sue the pants off you, Will. I’m gonna take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. I mean, seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of Blossom.
  9. You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You try to get rid of them, but they keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent.
  10. I’ll need to see that set list for Sectionals after all. I want it on my desk warm from the laminator at 5:00 P.M., and if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.

What are your thoughts on Sue? What are your favorite Sylveseter-isms? 

Here is a great video I found on YouTube of Sue’s Best Quotes:

(I did not make this video, I’m sure all rights are reserved by FOX Broadcast)

And if that is not enough, check out this exclusive Funny or Die Clip with Jane Lynch and Matthew Morrison carpooling to the set of Glee

Photo Credit – By Kristin Dos Santos [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

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