“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
— Albert Einstein
This is one of my favorite quotes from the genius, Albert Einstein. I find my self coming back to this quote again and again in my life.
It is a fairly simple concept. Touch a hot stove once, you are going to get burned. Touch it a second time, you are going to get burned AGAIN. Expecting that touching it a second time would not lead to hurting yourself again is insane.
This concept is pretty straight forward with inanimate objects, but gets a bit hazy when it comes to people. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but how many times does a person have to let you down before its time to part ways?
When this happens, I tend to take responsibility for their faults. Maybe my standards/expectations are too high. Maybe I didn’t communicate the importance properly. Maybe something more important came up.
What I need to realize is – Maybe its NOT ME.
According to Wikipedia, a sucessful friendship displays following attirbutes on a consistant basis:
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other
- Sympathy and empathy
- Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
- Mutual understanding and compassion
- Trust in one another (able to express feelings – including in relation to the other’s actions – without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
- Positive reciprocity – a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
I like to believe that display these attributes whole heartedly to those I consider my friends. When I keep giving to those who have let me down, hoping that this time they won’t let me down, I find my self reflecting on Albert Einstein and realizing I must have switched my Flintstone Vitamins with Crazy Pills! Friends make mistakes and we forgive them. However, if a friendship is causing you more stress than joy, it may be time to part ways. It isn’t a failure. It doesn’t mean that your friendship wasn’t real, It’s just that your time together has run it’s course and it is now time for you both to move on. We do it with dating relationships, why can’t it apply to friendships?
I give you a great quote to reflect on by Michelle Ventor – “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you’ll know exactly what to do.” It might be time to review your requirements for a friend and figure out who hasnt been meeting those requirments. It may be time for the seasons to change.
- On friendship. (thegreengeeks.wordpress.com)